S*** the President Says – 8/24/2020

Ladies and gentlemen, behold, some s*** the president said during the previous week:

“Even New Zealand, did you see what’s going on in New Zealand? ‘They beat it. They beat it.’ It was like front page, they beat it, because they wanted to show me something. The problem is, big surge in New Zealand…it’s terrible.”

8/17/2020 in Oshkosh, WI.

New Zealand had nine cases of COVID-19 that day. Nine. In the whole country. After over 100 days of having zero. We had more than that in Erie County.

“[Michelle Obama]’s in over her head, and frankly, she should’ve made the speech live, which she didn’t do. She taped it. And it was not only taped, it was taped a long time ago, because she had the wrong deaths.”

8/18/2020 at the White House.

She had the wrong deaths. So many people died of COVID-19 between when Michelle Obama taped the speech (about 2-3 weeks prior) and when it was delivered, our president thinks it makes her look bad.

“I see again the forest fires are starting. They’re starting again in California. I said, ‘You gotta clean your floors, you gotta clean your forests’ – there are many, many years of leaves and broken trees and they’re like, like, so flammable, you touch them and it goes up.”

8/20/2020 in Old Forge, PA.

Listen, we can’t even pay public school janitors the extra money it’d take for additional cleaning for COVID prevention in our schools. We’re not about to clean leaves out of the forests.

The riots aren’t all in cities run by Democrats. San Diego is America’s largest Republican-led city, and they had riots. After San Diego, there’s Jacksonville – and more riots. Then Forth Worth, El Paso, Oklahoma City. It turns out that every large American city protested police brutality after George Floyd’s murder, nearly all of those protests turned violent at some point, and most cities are run by Democrats. No need for conspiracies.

Hey I said no conspiracies!

Where did this $25 billion come from, anyway? Could the president be right that Democrats pulled it out of thin air to politicize the issue? Ahem, from the Postmaster General back in April: “USPS would lose $13 billion in fiscal 2020 due to the economic downturn resulting from the novel coronavirus pandemic, and the agency would “run out of cash” before Sept. 30. The agency’s board of governors, whose five Senate-confirmed members were all appointed by President Trump, is asking Congress for a $25 billion cash injection to offset expected losses….”

You know, the reason our president had to link this wild accusation to a cable news segment instead of something real is that it is not real. While we’re at it, Democrats didn’t spy on his campaign last time, either.

“We are going to play for New York. With all of the crime in New York, I’m going to play for New York.”

8/17/2020 in Oshkosh, WI.

Not that election prognosticator extraordinaire Nate Silver can’t be wrong, but this one feels like a “sun rises in the East” kind of prediction:

Think again.

Here’s the Pledge of Allegiance for Night 1 of the DNC. Here it is for Night 2. Night 3. Night 4. “Under God” is mentioned every time, and Trump wants us to believe it’s Joe Biden who’s gone senile.

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That’s our report for this week. Be sure to check out the links for more info on any particular topic and, as always, thanks for reading.