S*** the President Says – 7/13/2020

Ladies and gentlemen, behold, some s*** the president said during the previous week:

Hard to believe this was just a week ago, but last Monday morning our president woke up and demanded an apology from Bubba Wallace, the only Black NASCAR driver, for a noose found in Wallace’s garage that led to a hate crime investigation. Wallace didn’t find the noose, wasn’t the one whom reported it, and never even called it a noose. No one had any idea for what Wallace would apologize, and the president’s press secretary wouldn’t tell us. Happy Monday!

I aced it. I aced the [cognitive] test. And [Joe Biden] should take the same exact test. A very standard test. I took it at Walter Reed Medical Center in front of doctors, and they were very surprised.

7/9/2020 phone interview with Sean Hannity.

Something magical always happens when our president gets on the horn with Sean Hannity. This time, Trump bragged about his success on a test that screens for dementia.

I bet we’re going to hear plenty more of this in the months to come so let’s get this out of the way now: any type of voting involves humans, and anything with humans involves error. There is some tiny fraction of error and, yes, even fraud involved with voting. However, voting by mail just isn’t the Nigerian prince scam our president wants you to believe. Fraud is extremely rare.

Fun fact: this tweet spurred CNN to run an article titled: ‘It’s the same thing’: Experts baffled by Trump’s misleading distinction between ‘absentee’ and ‘mail-in’ ballots.” Translation: the president is preparing not to accept the election result if he loses. Imagine the following scenario: coronavirus surges in the fall as expected. Many millions of votes are cast via mail. Election night results count in-person votes only – they show Trump leading. Trump prematurely declares victory and, when the mail-in ballots show Biden to be the clear winner, cries fraud. Do you think he wouldn’t?

We want to reopen the schools. Everybody wants it. The moms want it. The dads want it. The kids want it. It’s time to do it.

7/7/2020 “Reopening Schools” roundtable at the White House.

“It’s time to do it” is a weird thing to say in July, but yes, of course everyone wants schools open this fall. We want it like kids want ice cream for dinner, except we’re adults that know sometimes the things we want aren’t good for us. We as a country need to sit down and eat some major vegetables before we’ll have any chance of opening up our schools. Let’s do that work.

Again, there is no accountability here for the fact that our country has among the world’s worst responses to this virus. Do you know how many cases there were in these countries the day the president said this? Germany: 410. Denmark: 12. Norway: 3. Sweden: 710. USA: 60,020! Rather than grapple with ways to suppress the virus, our president invents a brand new conspiracy theory: rascally Democrats will keep schools closed (as if they had such power) purely out of spite toward the president.

Note how there is no plan whatsoever to help schools meet the CDC guidelines for reopening. Only threats. The choice is between “normal funding” and “nothing.” Everyone wants kids back in school – everyone. We just want to do it safely. A door #3 of “increased funding to help schools do this safely” shouldn’t be too much to ask.

I see where Harvard announced that they’re closing for the season or the year. I think it’s ridiculous. I think it’s an easy way out, and I think they ought to be ashamed of themselves if you want to know the truth.”

7/7/2020 “Reopening Schools” roundtable at the White House.

Yes, because if there’s one group known for taking the easy way out, it’s Harvard. For my money, pressuring schools to open in the absence of any type of federal plan sounds more like the easy way out, but what do I know.

So, I want to thank everybody and I want to just say, get open in the fall. I want your schools open. It’s going to be a much better climate than it is right now.

7/7/2020 “Reopening Schools” roundtable at the White House.

Wait, so the guy that spent the entire spring telling us coronavirus would disappear in the warmer weather is now saying schools should open because the fall will be “a much better climate” than the summer? Cool. That’s cool.

Pro tip: never take a math lesson from someone asserting they are telling you for the 1/100th time.


That’s our report for this week. Be sure to check out the links for more info on any particular topic and, as always, thanks for reading.

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