S*** the President Says – 4/27/2020

Ladies and gentlemen, behold, some s*** the president said during the previous week:

“I see the disinfectant. It knocks it out in a minute, one minute, and is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning. As you can see it gets inside in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs so it’d be interesting to check that.”

4/23/2020 at the White House.

Here it is. The political Yanny/Laurel, blue dress/gold dress of our time: the famous/infamous Trump disinfectant quote. Did Trump say we should go drink bleach? Um, no. Was he framed by an anti-Trump media hell-bent on taking him out of context to make him appear stupid? Also no. The truth doesn’t lie exactly in the middle, either; Donald Trump absolutely said something stupid. This one begins with Trump observing that both UV light and disinfectant kills COVID-19 on surfaces. Then, a recollection that UV light has been used in some type of medical application under the skin, somewhere. Not against COVID-19, but somewhere. Finally, the eureka moment: what if disinfectant can be used inside the body, too? Just like UV light! Put it right in the lungs and flush ‘em out! Needless to say, suggesting in front of the cameras on a whim that someone should look into flushing human lungs with disinfectant was reckless. It deserved mockery.

“No, I was asking a question sarcastically to reporters like you just to see what would happen…and I was asking a question of the gentleman yesterday, Bill…but I was asking a sarcastic and a very sarcastic question to the reporters in the room about disinfectant on the inside.”

4/24/2020 at the White House.

Oh, so the day the U.S. death toll due to coronavirus passed 50,000 with no end in sight, our president now says he was joking about injecting disinfectant into people? Just to see what would happen? Look, this obviously isn’t true, (clicking the link and watching the video itself is informative, if you have one minute) but joking wouldn’t make this stupidity any better.

“You know the way it was asked. I was looking at you.”

4/24/2020 at the White House.

This was again in reference to the injecting disinfectant quote. Our president claimed to be speaking to a reporter, whom immediately clarified he was not even present at that briefing.

“I would like you to speak to the medical doctors to see if there’s any way that you can apply light, and heat, to cure. You know, if you could.”

Light, heat, wind, water, earth. Captain Planet, if you could speak to him.

“I’m not a doctor, but I’m like, a person that has a good – you know what.”

4/25/2020 at the White House.

Yes, nothing screams ‘genius’ like forgetting the word for ‘brain.’

I have no idea what this means. Let’s just skip it.

Believe it or not, there is a website called trumpgolfcount.com that keeps track of how often the president has left the White House to visit one of his golf resorts he still owns and profits from. As of yesterday, he’s on track to spend over 300 days at one of his resorts in just four years. Nearly a quarter of his presidency. Roughly twice as much golf as Obama despite regularly criticizing Obama for golfing.

“[Those protesting Stay-at-Home orders] are separated, there’s a lot of space in between. They’re doing social distancing, if you can believe it.”

4/21/2020 at the White House.

Not only do I not believe it, the whole entire point of these protests were to scrap the social distancing guidelines and return to life as usual. Plus, you know, photographs:

Remember the first time you watched Fox News? It was like a whole new world, but now a few years later it just doesn’t hit with that same thunder. So as these complaints begin to surface more frequently, he mixes in some OANN. That’s good for now. God forbid, though, if we get to the end of Year Eight, something tells me nothing will do short of straight-up North Korean Nightly News. Speaking of North Korea…

“Look, I just hope he’s doing fine. I mean, I’ve had a very good relationship with Kim Jung-Un. And that’s to the benefit of the country.”

4/21/2020 at the White House.

To the benefit of which country? As of this writing, it isn’t clear whether Kim Jung-Un will live or die. What seems abundantly clear is that, if Kim does die, the only American that will mourn the loss will be the one sitting in the Oval Office.

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That’s our report for this week. Be sure to check out the links for more info on any particular topic and, as always, thanks for reading.