S*** the President Says – 12/30/2019

Ladies and gentlemen, behold, some s*** the president said during the previous week:

There’s thinking the world revolves around you, and then there’s blaming-the-prime-minister-for-removing-a-ten-second-cameo-of-yourself-from-a-25-year-old-movie-on-Canadian-TV thinking the world revolves around you. Alas, Trump’s cameo was removed back in 2014, before his candidacy and for non-political reasons. Maybe he was kidding about this?

He was kidding! However, as you can see from the article the president retweeted, some of his defenders in conservative media weren’t in on the joke. Among those dumb enough to blame Trump’s disappearance from Canadian TV Home Alone 2 on some grand conspiracy were, believe it or not, his son, Don Jr, whom blamed all this on triggered liberals and concluded it’s proof his father will be re-elected next year.

Congratulations! This isn’t true. To find a bigger increase, you’d have to go all the way back to 2018, when holiday sales rose 5.1%. The 3.4% increase fell short of expectations, and short of the average holiday increase from the prior five years. The economy is doing just fine, but don’t believe the “BEST EVER” hype.

Turns out, this Fox News lawyer isn’t a member of the U.S. House of Representatives, so it doesn’t matter what he thinks. The constitution gives the House the sole power of impeachment. It doesn’t say anything about Fox News.

You know, the intelligence community inspector general wrote an entire report on this topic. The main conclusion was that Jim Comey was not a dirty cop, and that President Trump’s three entire years of crowing about some shadowy deep state was actually just made up nonsense. That’s why he’s currently headline surfing random people from Twitter.

If you’re the president, and you think homelessness could be solved “very easily,” would you complain on Twitter? Or would you do something about it yourself?

It’s strange how our president argues that the country is doing better than ever even while so many cities are sinking into the abyss, but something else stuck out to me here: how is it ok for a president to “hate” an entire state? If you hate the very thing you’re supposed to be governing, should you resign?

This whole thing about who’s “allowed” to impeach the president could be cleared up with a quick reading of our country’s constitution. The better question, though, might be, “Why should Nancy Pelosi live rent-free inside the president’s head on Christmas?”

It’s as if our president doesn’t realize the difference between an investigation and a trial.

Hours after Christmas, President Trump is back to live-tweeting Fox and Friends as they tell us he is a victim. In this case, however, the president himself ordered the U.S.’s first ever wholesale blockade of witnesses and documents from a congressional investigation. Having prevented this info from coming to light, he now laments that the info is still in the dark. It’s like the old restaurant critic giving a bad review because the food is bad, and the portions too small.

That’s our report for this week. Be sure to check out the links for more info on any particular topic and, as always, thanks for reading.

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