S*** the President Says – 12/23/2019

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but the President of the United States was impeached last week by the House of Representatives. While that was happening, President Trump held a campaign rally. Want to know what was on his mind during that time? Behold:

I understand [Michigan’s governor]’s not fixing those potholes. That’s what the word. It was all about roads and they want to raise those gasoline taxes, and you – we don’t want to do that.12/18/2019 Trump rally in Battle Creek, MI.

Of course Trump knows what the people really want: potholes fixed for free. By the pothole fairy.

I don’t know if you know this but probably ten years ago I was honored. I was Man of the Year by somebody, whoever. I was Man of the Year in Michigan, can you believe it?12/18/2019 Trump rally in Battle Creek, MI.

Despite such a super convincing story, no one in Michigan ever named him Man of the Year.

I went up to the pilots and honestly they’re better looking than Tom Cruise, OK. Good movie. Good guy too, by the way. The face is equal, maybe slightly better, the body is bigger and stronger…These guys are so good looking.12/18/2019 Trump rally in Battle Creek, MI.

I don’t even like him, and I’m embarrassed for him.

So I’ll be able to tell my kids someday and everybody else, ‘See that Space Force, that was my baby.’12/18/2019 Trump rally in Battle Creek, MI.

Like a giant space-wall, all for the low, low cost of trillions of dollars and the benefit of someday defending against aliens that may or may not even exist. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s a single conservative in the Republican Party.

[W]e just provided record funding for our nation’s historically black colleges and universities. [Crowd cheering]. Right.12/18/2019 Trump rally in Battle Creek, MI.

Again, to emphasize the earlier point, here is a crowd of Republicans cheering record high tax dollars being shoveled into higher education. I’m fine with this because I’m all for finding higher education, but when Republicans cheer this you should realize this is something they’ve opposed when Democrats were the ones proposing it.

And [Bill Clinton] said, you horrible human being. You better start listening to me because you’re going to get your ass whipped.12/18/2010 Trump rally in Battle Creek, MI.

Here’s our President, over three years after the 2016 election, reliving the glory days by making up a fake conversation between Bill and Hillary Clinton. It’s fine. This isn’t something a deranged person would do.

And we won Michigan, and the word is, that we’re much higher right now in the polls than we were ever in 2016 in Michigan.12/18/2019 Trump rally in Battle Creek, MI.

Nope. That’s not the word.

With today’s illegal, unconstitutional, and partisan impeachment the do-nothing Democrats and they are do-nothing.12/18/2019 Trump rally in Battle Creek, MI.

Not unconstitutional. Article II, Section 4. Call me old-fashioned, but I think someone charged with upholding the constitution should know what the hell is in there.

This lawless, partisan impeachment is a political suicide march for the Democratic Party. Have you seen my polls in the past four weeks?12/18/2019 Trump rally in Battle Creek, MI.

Here they are. They’re still terrible. Donald Trump is not popular and has never been popular.

Sinks, right? Showers, and what goes with a sink and a shower? Ten times, right, ten times. Bam, bam, not me, of course not me, but you.12/18/2019 Trump rally in Battle Creek, MI.

I don’t flush ten times. You do. I’m just the one up here talking about it over and over again in front of the whole world.

That’s our report for this week. Be sure to check out the links for more info on any particular topic and, as always, thanks for reading.