S*** the President Says – 11/25/2019

This week, we’ll start with the president of the United States urging us all to watch three hours of Fox News on a Wednesday evening. Why should we do this? No idea. Maybe he hates us.

My favorite thing Donald Trump does is remind himself that he’s the president. Surely he doesn’t have such a low opinion of his followers that he’d be reminding them, right? Right?

Okay, we need to talk about this part of Ambassador Sondland’s testimony, because every boomer commenting on GoErie seems to be citing this as proof of the President’s innocence in the Ukraine scandal. “He said not quid pro quo! Case closed!” Importantly, Trump said this only after finding out the whistleblower complaint would soon become public. Trump saying “no quid pro quo,” then, is no different than any other criminal pleading not guilty. It doesn’t end the trial.

The plant Donald Trump visited actually opened back in 2013. That was back when we had a president who wouldn’t do crazy things like take credit for things that happened years before he came into office.

So my conversation was a perfect conversation…And this conversation was flawless. It was appropriate. It was perfect. It was nice. It was everything. And they even said that. They came out and said it.11/22/2019 Fox and Friends interview.

Donald Trump’s conversation with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky was so good, if you so much as listen to it you lose five pounds. Plus, you hear what sounds like a mob boss suggest that the U.S. has been very good to Ukraine but Ukraine hasn’t always reciprocated, and that Donald Trump wants a “favor” in the form of an investigation into Joe Biden. Perfect.

They were spying on my campaign. This is my opinion. I said it a long time ago.11/22/2019 Fox and Friends interview.

In the immortal words of Jeff “The Dude” Lebowski: Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man. Three years into the Trump presidency, there is no evidence to support this.

The FBI went in and [the Democratic National Committee] told him, ‘Get out of here. You’re not getting it. We’re not giving it to you.’ They gave the server to Crowd Strike or whatever it’s called, which is a company owned by a very wealthy Ukrainian. And I still want to see that server.11/22/2019 Fox and Friends interview.

CrowdStrike is a publicly traded American company. It was founded by a Russian-born American citizen – not a Ukrainian. There is no indication that the hacked server was ever delivered to CrowdStrike, nor would there be a reason for it to be.

Well, that’s what the word is.11/22/2019 Fox and Friends interview.

Translation: I have no idea whether this is true, but I want it to be.

You know, I come to Washington. So you’ve had Bush and you have never-Trumpers. So you have Bush. You have Clinton. You have Obama. So you have 24 years of people in positions, right? Then I come in with no experience, which is a good thing.11/22/2019 Fox and Friends interview.

I always love when our president describes not being able to get along with anybody as a valuable skill. On the value of experience, though, what is his position, exactly? Because if having no experience whatsoever is a selling point, what are we saying Hunter Biden should be investigated for, again?

I’m always telling people I watch your show in the morning. I don’t watch the garbage. The other garbage.11/22/2019 Fox and Friends interview.

There you have it. Fox and Friends in the morning, and three more hours of Fox News at night.

That’s our report for this week. Be sure to check out the links for more info on any particular topic and, as always, thanks for reading.

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