S*** the President Says – 6/10/2019

Ladies and gentlemen, behold, some s*** the President said during the previous week:

Of which the moon is a part? OF WHICH THE MOON IS A PART? Of Mars? Am I supposed to respond to this somehow? Should we explain it to him? I can’t. I don’t know what would be the point. This is a mind-blowing level of stupidity for any living adult, and this particular living adult has the nuclear codes.

The President sent this tweet at 8:30pm Eastern time, from London. London is five hours ahead of us. Donald Trump was awake, in London, at 1:30am tweeting about Bette Midler. Donald Trump was in London for a state visit and to commemorate the 75th anniversary of D-Day. I don’t know if this is better than the Mars thing.

There was great love, there was an alliance and I didn’t see the protesters until just a little while ago and it was a very, very small group of people put in for political reasons, so it was fake news.6/4/2019 joint press conference with UK prime minister Theresa May.

You’ve heard, “I think; therefore I am.” Here, the President offers a new twist on the old classic: “I didn’t see it; therefore it didn’t exist.” We could just laugh this off – political protest crowd size acknowledgement isn’t in my top 100 Trump critiques – but as you’ll see, he also extends this philosophy to things like global warming, North Korean missile tests, and the Hurricane Maria death toll in Puerto Rico.

We’re still stuck on the crowd size thing because of course we are. If you saw photos and videos of thousands of folks marching in the street, our President wants you to think your eyes deceived you. The real crowds loved Trump, only no one in the world captured any evidence of it because the entire world of media is corrupt. Every last one of them. Hate Trump small fake bad; love Trump big real good. That’s what we’re going with.

When I became president, and before that, as you know, it was all the time: nuclear testing, ballistic missile testing. And now there’s nothing.6/5/2019 at an airport in Shannon, Ireland.

Speaking of North Korea, here is President Trump ignoring the Hermit Kingdom, which fired off a bunch of ballistic missiles just last week. Trump commented on it. His national security adviser and Defense secretary confirmed it. This week, Trump forgot.

[Prince Charles] wants to make sure future generations have climate that is good climate as opposed to a disaster, and I agree. … I did say well the United States right now has among the cleanest climates there are, based on all statistics, and it’s even getting better because I agree with that.6/4/2019 interview with Piers Morgan.

On one hand, no, the President doesn’t seem to have the slightest idea what climate change is. That’s not ideal. On the other hand, if there is a choice between “good” and “disaster,” let’s just be glad when he doesn’t choose disaster.

China, India, Russia, many other nations they have not very good air, not very good water in the sense of pollution and cleanliness. … [I]f you go to certain cities you can’t even breathe and now that air is going up. So if we have a clean – in terms of a planet, we’re talking about a very small, you know, very small distance between China and the U.S. or other countries.6/4/2019 interview with Piers Morgan.

The question was whether Donald Trump accepts the reality of climate change. The answer was a bizarre word salad about air and water pollution, the former of which goes “up.” It’s not clear from this answer that the President has the foggiest idea what climate change is. It’s different than pollution. Then again, why should he? It comes way after the parts of science class about the moon being different than Mars, and China and the U.S. being the absolute maximum distance from each other “in terms of a planet.”

Credit Chuck Schumer for predicting this a week ago: Trump was bluffing. The “strong measures” Mexico apparently just agreed to avoid tariffs were actually agreed to months ago. Just last week, President Trump demanded that Mexico meet unspecified demands on the border. Mexico refused. Trump backed down and claimed victory anyway. This is what happens when a reality TV host becomes President.

Yes, because it’s [Mexico’s] fault also because they’re letting millions of people walk through their country and they shouldn’t let anybody walk up through their country. I mean frankly we shouldn’t even have to have border patrol.6/6/2019 interview with Laura Ingraham.

Wait. How is Mexico supposed to keep people in? It’s pretty messed up to think any country should prevent its people from leaving if that’s what they desire. East Germany tried that, if I recall, and reviews in the U.S. were poor. To say this in Normandy on the 75th anniversary of D-Day with the graves of allied servicemen in the background, no less, is downright sickening. This is what our greatest generation fought to prevent.

[Mexicans] send in $500 billion worth of drugs, they kill 100,000 people, they ruin a million families every year.6/6/2019 interview with Laura Ingraham.

How in the world would a million families be ruined by 100,000 murders. Ten families per murder? None of these numbers make any sense. Per the FBI: “In 2017, the estimated number of murders in the nation was 17,284.” That’s total murders – of which illegal aliens are responsible for a small fraction. Now, the CDC estimates an additional 47,600 people died in 2017 due to opioid overdoses. But (1) Mexico isn’t to blame for all of these, and (2) 47,600 plus 17,284 still isn’t 100,000. I didn’t check the drug money figure, but I’m sure it was pulled from a body part with cheeks, too.

I think [Nancy Pelosi] is a disgrace. I actually don’t think she’s a very talented person…She’s incapable of doing deals, she’s a nasty, vindictive, horrible person…Nancy Pelosi is a disaster, OK, she’s a disaster…6/6/2019 interview with Laura Ingraham.

Donald Trump in 2016: “Nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it.” Success has a thousand fathers; failure is an orphan.

[Robert Mueller] made such a fool out of himself the last time she – because what people don’t report is the letter he had to do to straighten out his testimony because his testimony was wrong.6/6/2019 interview with Laura Ingraham.

Look, I’m not a mind reader. The President is talking about Russia here, but Robert Mueller never even gave testimony about this. No one knows what the President is talking about. I half expected him to blame Mueller for the space shuttle Challenger, or the Browns 0-16 season. If it’s all Alice in Wonderland all the time anyway, why not really go for it, you know?

[W]e have crying Chuck Schumer who’s a disaster by the way, he’s a total political, you know, jerk.6/6/2019 interview with Laura Ingraham.

Oh, there was more to this answer. There was more trashing of Nancy Pelosi, there was talk of how some Republicans should also be ashamed of themselves, but do you want to know the question? Verbatim: “What could you do to unite the country at a time of great polarization, what more could you do?”


That’s our report for this week. Be sure to check out the links for more info on any particular topic and, as always, thanks for reading.

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