S*** the President Says – 5/28/2019

Ladies and gentlemen, behold, some s*** the President said during the previous week:

About three-minutes into a meeting with Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) about American infrastructure, President Trump abruptly ended the meeting. Pelosi described this as a temper tantrum. Mr. Trump would then spent the entire rest of the week disputing that assessment, at a variety of forums.

He wasn’t just calm. He was extremely calm. You wouldn’t believe how calm he was. Heartbeat? Slow. Blood pressure? Low. Sunglasses? On. Nancy said he raged, which he didn’t, then the media reported what she said, which was fake, so even though the media accurately reported what she said it was still fake because he’s so calm. Fake and Corrupt Press!

Photo by Evan Vucci, AP.

“[Nancy Pelosi] said I walked into the room, right next door, yesterday, and walked in and started screaming and yelling. Just the opposite. Just the opposite…I walked out; I was so calm. You all saw me minutes later. I was at a news conference. I was extremely calm. I was probably even more so in that room.” 5/23/2019 at the White House.

For the record, Pelosi never accused Trump of screaming and yelling. She accused him of a “temper tantrum” and of not having an infrastructure plan ready for their meeting to discuss Trump’s infrastructure plan. One thing Trump is not talking about this week? Infrastructure.

“Now, as far as the group is concerned – where is Sarah? Kellyanne? Where are you? Come here a minute. You were in that room. Kellyanne. You were in the room. Sarah was in the room. Mercedes was in the room yesterday…Kellyanne, what was my temperament yesterday, in the room?” 5/23/2019 at the White House.

Oh, God, he’s going around the room pop quizzing his staff in front of the cameras to prove how calm he was. Say what you will about Nancy Pelosi, but she seems to have pulled the greatest Jedi mind trick of all time on Trump.

“And he doesn’t – Peter doesn’t want to hear this, by the way. He wants to ask another one. Because he doesn’t – he’s fake news. But go ahead.” 5/23/2019 at the White House.

In the middle of Kellyanne Conway vouching for how calm Donald Trump was, Trump interrupts her to claim some reporter can’t handle the truth about how calm he was. Because fake news!

“Mercedes, you were in the room yesterday. I walked in, and I would say, in this voice, I said, ‘Not right what you did. And calling a meeting like this wasn’t right.’ And so I said, ‘So I’m going to postpone it or call it off. But you can focus on one thing: You shouldn’t go down two tracks at the same time.’ Let me ask you this, Mercedes – you’re always a straight talker. You were in that room yesterday? What was my attitude when I walked in?” 5/23/2019 at the White House.

To be clear, the President just admitted he will refuse to uphold the duties of his office until another branch of government agrees to stop investigating him. If he weren’t so damn calm, I might think he was crazy.

“Is Sarah there? Sarah? Larry, were you at the meeting? Oh, fantastic. The great Larry Kudlow. Could you come here please? …Because I saw Cryin’ Chuck [Schumer] yesterday. And he went out, and he said, ‘He was stomping, and he was this and that and…’ Larry, you were there…What was my attitude, yesterday, at the meeting?” 5/23/2019 at the White House.

Would you believe Larry Kudlow described the President as having been calm as hell?

“And there’s really, if you look at it – hi, Sarah. We’re just talking about the meeting. You were there yesterday? Were you? Just come forward…Just out of curiosity – you were there – what was my tone yesterday at the meeting?” 5/23/2019 at the White House.

He’s still going!

“I couldn’t have been more calm. I then respectfully said, ‘Sorry to inconvenience you.’ And I left the room. I then went directly to the press conference, right? The reason I asked them to say it – because this happened to me once before with the same group. Cryin’ Chuck. I don’t want to say “Crazy Nancy,” because if I say that you’re going to say it’s a copy of “Crazy Bernie,” and that’s no good because he – Bernie is definitely crazy.” 5/23/2019 at the White House.

Someone is definitely crazy. Did I mention all of this occurred at a press conference that was supposed to be about American farmers?

“Well, I think a number of people. And I think what you look is that they have unsuccessfully tried to take down the wrong person…If you look at Comey; if you look at McCabe; if you look at probably people – people higher than that; if you look at Strzok; if you look at his lover, Lisa Page, his wonderful lover….” 5/23/2019 at the White House.

Buried in amongst all the calmness above, I could swear President Trump made a point about not being able to work with people who’d accuse you of having committed a crime. Later in the press conference, he’s listing off people he thinks should be put to death for treason. This is real life, but my God, it’s more bizarre than any movie I’ve seen.

This video was edited to make Nancy Pelosi appear drunk! After dealing with this President for so long, really, who could blame her.

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That’s our report for this week. Keep calm and carry on until next week, when you can bet there will be more S*** the President Says.