Ladies and gentlemen, behold, some s*** the president said during the previous week:
- “FEMA has been told directly by me to give the A Plus treatment to the Great State of Alabama and the wonderful people who have been so devastated by the Tornadoes. @GovernorKayIvey, one of the best in our Country, has been so informed. She is working closely with FEMA (and me!).” 3/4/2019 Trump tweet. Remember when the president and forest management enthusiast actually tweeted an order that FEMA stop all disaster relief in California until they managed their forests more to his liking? It sounds like Alabama won’t be getting that treatment, thankfully. In Puerto Rico, the president complained that “Puerto Rico wants everything done for them,” suggested maybe we shouldn’t bother restoring power because their “infrastructure was disaster before hurricanes,” then rated his efforts a “10 out of 10” and considered diverting relief money from Puerto Rico to the wall. I’m glad Alabama will get the help they deserve but, dammit, so should everyone else.
- “Now that the Dems are going to try & switch from Collusion to some other reason, it makes them continue to look like sore losers who didn’t accept the WILL OF THE PEOPLE in the last election – they will do anything to get rid of the President.” @AriFleischer It will never work!” 3/4/2019 Trump tweet. Believe it or not, people can be guilty of multiple crimes – just ask half of Trump’s campaign team. So while the Russia investigation continues, expect about a million other cockroaches to scurry as Democrats give them their first dose of sunlight. After all, Democrats are only in this position thanks to the will of the people.
- “Now that they realize the only Collusion with Russia was done by Crooked Hillary Clinton & the Democrats, Nadler, Schiff and the Dem heads of the Committees have gone stone cold CRAZY. 81 letters sent to innocent people to harass them. They won’t get ANYTHING done for our Country!” 3/5/2019 Trump tweet. For heaven’s sake, President Trump’s own son was sent an email during the campaign that said, “The Crown prosecutor of Russia…offered to provide the Trump campaign with some official documents and information that would incriminate Hillary and…would be very useful to your father. This is obviously very high level and sensitive information but it is part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump….” Later in the campaign, Trump’s campaign manager secretly handed 75 pages of internal polling data to a Russian guy with ties to the same Russian intelligence agency later convicted of hacking the Clinton campaign’s internal polling data. What more could you want?
- “Presidential harassment!” 3/4/2019 Trump tweet. PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT!” 3/5/2019 Trump tweet. PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT!” 3/8/2019 Trump tweet. Fun fact: repeatedly yelling something doesn’t make it true. Just like Trump’s pretending President Obama was born in Kenya (speaking of presidential harassment!) didn’t make that true.
- ” “(Crooked) Hillary Clinton confirms she will not run in 2020, rules out a third bid for White House.” Aw-shucks, does that mean I won’t get to run against her again? She will be sorely missed!” 3/5/2019 Trump tweet. Donald Trump, the one person on Earth that makes Hillary Clinton look like Mother Teresa, wants her to run again. How cute. Reminder: Clinton received 3,000,000 more votes than Trump the first time. I wouldn’t be so confident if I were the president.
- “ “HIV Is Cured In 2nd Patient, Doctors Report.” @nytimes Such great news for so many. Tremendous progress being made!” 3/5/2019 Trump tweet. What’s this? Some genuine, good news snuck into the middle of the fear and loathing that usually dominates a week of presidential pronouncements! Hallelujah! Or at least it would be great news if we weren’t supposed to believe everything in the New York Times is fake.
- “You saw trade deficits went down last month and everyone’s trying to figure out why. Well, we’re taking a lot of tariff money. And it has reduced the trade deficit.” 2/28/2019 press conference in Hanoi, Vietnam. Not according to Trump’s own Commerce Dept. This week, they reported the trade deficit is at an all-time high. For someone who bucked every trade expert in both parties on how to eliminate the trade deficit, and argued trade wars are good and easy to win, this news is quite bad.
- “Democrats just blocked @FoxNews from holding a debate. Good, then I think I’ll do the same thing with the Fake News Networks and the Radical Left Democrats in the General Election debates!” 3/6/2019 Trump tweet. The very stable genius might be interested to know that general election debates are open to all networks. Dems blocked Fox News due to this explosive New Yorker report showing that Fox handed Trump a debate question in 2016, and also had the goods on the Stormy Daniels story right before the 2016 election but buried it because “Rupert [Murdoch, Fox News owner] wants Trump to win.” Just further evidence of Fox being the WWE of news.
- “Thank you @foxandfriends. Great show!” 3/8/2019 Trump tweet. Speaking of Fox News, Trump tweeted at them or mentioned one of their on-air personalities 15 times this week, including this vague but enthusiastic gem. It seems like a lot of TV for someone doing the hardest job in the world.
- “Congressman Chris Stewart: “No one is accusing the President of a crime and yet they (the Democrats) are issuing hundreds of subpoenas. This is unprecedented.” They are desperately trying to find anything they can, even a punctuation mistake in a document!” 3/6/2019 Trump tweet. A punctuation mistake! Oh my. If those were impeachable offenses, Donald Trump wouldn’t have made it from the swearing-in covfefe to the inaugural ball.
That’s our report for this week. Be sure to check out the links for more info on any particular topic and, as always, thanks for reading.