Together, these two slides have created many thousands of wedgies. They’ll soon be a thing of the past.
Without further ado, your Idiotville feel-good story of the week:
Before we get into this particular story let’s just admit that Waldameer is the people-watching capital of the tri-state area, and that Idiotville just wouldn’t be Idiotville without it. It’s an absolute treasure.
In fact, if you’ve never gotten together with some friends and made some Waldameer people-watching bingo cards then you might want to drop what you’re doing right now.
Dad with his t-shirt tucked into cargo shorts and tube socks pulled up high. Skinny teen sacrificing some elbow ligaments trying to throw a softball through some milk bottles. Free space. Goth kid with $5 worth of hairspray and a four letter word on his t-shirt. Middle-aged dude riding solo at the Wacky Shack, maaaybe with his aaarms still attached. Oh! Bingo! Fun for hours.
The next best thing to a free space on a Waldameer bingo card. | howtobeadad.com Dad Fashion
Water World is the cherry on the sundae. Going into that place and seeing a guy sitting back in one of the lawn chairs with his legs spread inappropriately wide apart, eating a bologna sandwich, is an experience every bit as memorable as the Grand Canyon. At least it was for me.
The best part is once you’re done judging everyone, you realize that place is a genuinely good time all on its own. It isn’t Cedar Point. Fine. I’m not looking to be shot out of a cannon, anyway.
There’s just something about seeing so many people having good, clean, old-fashioned fun. Thinking about it today, with six inches of snow in my yard and five more months of it coming, I want it bad.
This week’s story is that Water World will be investing $2 million to replace those old speed slides that never let anyone go without a wedgie. Good. In their place will be a six lane, “Rally Racer” slide that sounds way better. From the article:
The new Rally Racer slide would allow up to six people to slide headfirst on mats, racing through tubes and around curves. Riders will complete a full loop inside an enclosed portion of the slide before reaching an open section, which allows racers to see where they stand in the competition to reach the bottom of the slide.
The only bad news is, these new slides will not be ready until the 2020 season. In the meantime, you’ll have to get out and enjoy the rest of the place. Just don’t tuck your t-shirt into your shorts.