First Snow in Erie – the Annual Idiotville Freakout

Photo from Erie Times-News

My friends, it’s here. The first snow of the season. That means we need to prepare ourselves mentally for what is sure to follow.

First, we can count on friends, acquaintances and everyone within shouting distance to bemoan the snow. Every Facebook friend you have will share a meme about it. People on the streets will look to the sky and cry out in anguish, despite having gone through this dozens of times before. Mothers will dress their kids in layer after layer until their arms jut straight out and their faces disappear behind a too-tight drawstring. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

On the roads, 94% of drivers will forget how to drive in it. They will straddle multiple lanes at 18 MPH. Your commuting time to and from work will multiply, whether or not any snow at all has stuck to the road. If it really snows, you’ll encounter a guy that only brushed off a postcard-sized patch of his windshield. Someone may try to turn left in front of you, jamming the gas in futility as you curse him and look for some way around.

Then you get to work. The looks on your coworkers’ eyes will resemble a dog that knows he peed on the rug. They’ll say they don’t want to talk about it even though they’re dying to talk about it. None of it makes any sense.

Now let me tell what I’m planning to do. I’ll put on a coat, get in the car, look out for idiots coming from every possible direction and once I get to work, I’ll go about my day. That’s it. It snows every year, and it falls on everyone’s head the same. Oh, sure, it’s inconvenient. But the full list of things that are inconvenient is a mile long, and I’ll refuse to start down the slippery slope.

I’ll even go a little farther. The first snow is to be cherished. It is an order from above to slow down, take a deep breath, and take a look at yourself. Reflect. When the snow comes down, it drowns out some of the sounds and most of the visibility. But you can still look at yourself, and you can still hear your own thoughts. Where can you get better in the coming year? What went really well for you?

The first snow is a reason to love Erie. You can go back to raging tomorrow.